How Can He Love Me?

How many times do we ask ourselves, how is it possible for Him to Love Me? We hear time after time how he gave His life for us, but how would anyone give their life for me? Why would they? If they knew who I really am, where I’ve been, what I’ve done, what I’ve thought nobody would even care. If they knew who I am inside they wouldn’t care, if I stopped this pretending, trying to fit in, trying to dress a certain way, act a certain way, say the right things, do the right things, if I just stopped all this I would become what I really am, nobody. But still somehow we hear repeatedly that He loved us before we were even born, knowing all the filth we were He loved us. How can this be true if I can’t even love myself? How can someone look at me, and see beauty? How can anybody hear me, and listen to music? So we don’t believe it, because how can we deserve all that? So we look for it in men, in money, in material things, in women, drugs, alcohol, church, friends, social networks, popularity, beauty, youth, food, social work, anything to make us feel just a bit better of who we are, to make that whole just a bit smaller. We look for something or someone to tell us that they need us, because if we feel needed, we feel important, we feel like we’re not alone after all, like if I die today someone will miss me. Because in the end that’s man’s worst fear, staying alone. Not being able to share dreams, hopes, fears, tears, movies, jokes, and moments. We’re scared that one day we’ll die and go down in history as nothing but dust, nothing more than just another number, we fear that in the end we didn’t mean anything to anyone, that nobody depended on us, nobody needs us and if I disappear right now, nobody will miss me. But as we search for this thing that will make us feel just a little better about ourselves we find out that the hole we were trying to fill just becomes larger and larger, because we’re making it worst with all this junk. And suddenly that feeling of nothingness not only comes at night but also during the day, and that which satisfied us even for a moment, doesn’t do the trick anymore. All of a sudden we feel even more alone than before. And in the back of our heads or in the middle of our stomachs we feel like a voice is saying, “You are not alone! I love you!” But we ignore it, because deep down, right where the neck begins we also hear “No, I hate you!” And if for a moment there we stopped being so afraid, so proud, if for a second we ignore every rejection we’ve had, if we stopped being scared about being vulnerable we would discover the greatest love of all. The love of the creator! We would discover the love of The Father, the love of The Mother. And once that love lights up, the fears go away, all of a sudden everything, all chaos all confusion goes for a moment, because nothing matters, because I am not alone, because I am loved by Love itself because that’s what it is being said to us constantly, by everything around us, by the trees, the birds, the flowers, the mountains: “All this beauty, all this wonder, was created for you, so you could see how much I love you, so you could breath and feel all the Love around you.” And all of a sudden it becomes so simple. How could He Love Me? Because there’s nothing else He could do, for He is Love.